Since You Went Away
by KayBeth13
Summary: ONESHOT: Bulma reflects on her lost love, and Trunks shows his feelings as he prepares to travel back in time the first time.


Why? Why all the death and destruction? Why couldn't we just have peace for once? And then the worst thing of all happened: I lost you. Every night, I dream about the look in your eyes, lifeless and empty. I dream about the twisted way your body lay on the ground, the dried blood on your face, your face beaten and body broken. Then I dream about finding out just two days later that I was pregnant with the daughter you would never live to see, the daughter that I never got to know as she was stillborn. The stress from the events leading up to her birth and the problems I had giving birth caused her heart to stop during labour. I called her Bra, I thought you may find it amusing.

I hope you're looking after her, protecting her with your strong arms as you did for both me and your son. Were you aware of how much we both loved you, and how much your son adored you? Of course you were, you were just too proud to admit it, weren't you? Prince Vegeta, no, king Vegeta in my eyes and heart, the only man I ever truly gave my heart and soul to.

Despite how you acted, I knew you were proud of our son Trunks. The way you would look at him when you thought no-one was looking, the pride that shone in your eyes the first time you watched him train with his sword, the happiness you showed whenever he asked you to teach him something new and got it right first time. He used to look at you the same way, except that he wasn't a stubborn fool that would hide his feelings from everyone like his dad. He always showed his feelings, but did you know, his eyes haven't shone since the second I told him you passed away? It's been eleven years now, and he's now seventeen years old, but it breaks my heart to hear him cry your name out in his dreams even now, knowing that only you would be able to comfort him, yet unable as you aren't here.

I think I've found a way that may help him move on. It may help, but at the same time, I'm scared it will only scar him deeper. I've created a time machine that will send him back to before the androids arrived, so that he can prevent Goku from dying, and warn us all of what is to come. This means he will have the chance to see your face again, but I'm terrified that I will hurt him by doing this as you were so cold back then, and I'm scared you will disregard him and treat him as you did the rest of us. Plus, he's to try and not tell anybody who he really is, only Goku is to know, but I hope he will go back again when the androids arrive, to help us beat them rather than lose everyone.

Please Vegeta, if you're up there, look after him, please don't let him come to any harm. You have no idea how much I can't bear to lose him. I've already lost two thirds of my heart with the loss of you and our daughter, please don't let me lose the final part. I miss you so much, and I just wish with all my heart that I could wrap my arms round you once again, and holding you until the end of time, always telling you how much I love you and how much I need you here with me, to hold me back, to give me that rare smile and look of fondness…

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Trunks walked down the corridor, stopping dead when his sharp saiyan senses picked up the sound of someone crying. He ran straight to his mum's room, knowing full well it was her. He opened her door, and his heart sank to see her sitting on her bed, curled up and hugging her knees, tearing pouring down her face as fierce sobs wracked through her body.

"mum?"

Bulma's head snapped up at the sound of her son speaking, and she hastily tried to still her tears and gain some sense of control. She rarely showed her feelings to her son as she knew it didn't help him, but sometimes, she just couldn't handle the strain. Trunks gave her a sad smile before moving over to her and wrapping his arms round her. Bulma sobbed even harder now as in her mind, it was not her son hugging her, but her husband, momentarily back from the dead.

She eventually slipped into an uneasy sleep, and trunks lay her down on the bed covering her with her duvet, before moving back downstairs to finish preparing his night time 'snack' of three packs of bacon and four packs of sausages. He knew Bulma would not approve of him eating like this, but just recently he found it helped him control his emotions. He knew what his mother was doing, and he knew he was going back in time, but he was still so emotionally imbalanced that he wasn't sure he could handle seeing his father alive and well, yet not being able to tell him they were father and son.

He wiped a stray tear off his face, before sighing and looking out the window, frowning as he saw his reflection staring back at him, the mirror image of his father, just with lilac hair and blue eyes. He slammed his fist on the counter, wincing as he dented it, knowing that he would be scolded for it in the morning. His frown softened as he thought about his mother. He was almost too afraid to leave her on her own, but he knew he had to do this for everyone's sakes. He just wished somehow he could take her with him.

He moved outside for a few minutes, turning his head so that it pointed upwards and he could see the stars.

"hey dad. I know mum's probably told you to watch over me while I'm gone, but I want you to look over her. I'm old enough to look after myself, but mum needs the support. I hope I make you proud."

Yet more tears slipped down his cheeks, and as he moved back into the house, he could've sworn her heard a whisper.

"I already am, my son. I already am"


End file.
